Lt. Killjoy

I told you guys about a site I love called “Together we served” where you can find old military buddies from your branch of service. Well, I found one of my old Instructors from The Basic School named LtCol Joe Jackson. Joe was a first Lieutenant when he arrived and picked up Captain about the second week we were there in 1988. He taught us tactics, the basic introduction for the boneheaded Second Louies there in Hotel Company. They called us “Honey Company” because we had a platoon of women where all the other companies were all male.

I had last seen Joe over in Iraq and it brought back many fond memories of “The Big Suck” or The Basic School, its proper name. Poor Joe had Tactics after lunch and had to fight the sleep monsters that caused your eyelids to shut tight as all the blood flooded to your stomach, digesting that fine Marine Corps Chow. His partner in crime was another hard charging Infantry Marine Named Chris Powderfoot (all names have been changed btw) who had had a knack for keeping us awake and motivated to be in his class. He would come in and get all the Lt’s to beat on their desk tops like wild animals worked up into a heated frenzy. Then, he would hold his arms up to bring the crowd under control. The Lieutenants all loved this guy because he would start out with a fast dirty joke to set the mood. The only problem was one of the female Second Lt’s took an extreme dislike to Capt. Powderfoot and started to complain to her Platoon Commander that she was offended by these dirty jokes and asked if he could stop. This went up the chain of command and back down to Captain Powderfoot. I guess this just kinda fueled him on more which provoked some really awesome jokes.

Now the young lady in question was really pissed off and made it clear that if he uttered one more offense joke, she would walk out of class and go file a complaint against him. Now the squabble had most of the Lt’s upset and on the Capt’s side with maybe three quarter of the women who thought their fellow Lt. was a bit out of control. Everyone was aware of her threat, including Captain Powderfoot who walked out onto the stage that fateful afternoon. The beating of the desk was deafening as the Lt’s waited for the command of silence. Everyone had a smile on their face wondering if he would tell his joke and face the wrath of a sexual harassment charge.

Captain Powderfoot put his hands up and pumped them for the crowd to stop beating their palms to a pulp. He then said, “Hey, did I tell you about the boatload of whores going to China?” All eyes were on Lt. Killjoy to see what would happen next. The question lingered in the air for several seconds before she stood up and started to move across the chairs to the exit row. Without missing a beat, Captain Powderfoot said “Hey Lt., where are you going? Boat doesn’t cruise till three. O.K., Marines, and today we’re taking on Squad in the attack…”

Lieutenant Killjoy stopped, hesitated for a second, realized that he set her up, and with a very red face, went back to her seat. We never had anymore good jokes after that and Tactics was never the same either.